Running Back by Holy Wrath
Gather ‘round, mortals, for I — the Taint Tickling Tickler — descend from the shadows of fantasy football forums to deliver a prophecy so powerful it’ll make defensive coordinators cry into their clipboards.
This year, the league will bow before the holy trinity of thunderous thighs: Omarion Hampton, Raheim “Rocket Fuel” Sanders, and Kimani “Can’t Catch Me” Vidal. A triple-punch combo so devastating that linebackers will be filing workers comp claims by Week 3.
Now, don’t get me wrong — Najee Harris still has a role. The man is the wise, slightly one-eyed Gandalf of the backfield. With that eye injury, though, he accidentally cracked open the mystical portal of opportunity, and from it emerged three hungry young backs ready to feast on every carry like a buffet at Golden Corral. Najee and Vidal will rotate, sure, but let’s be real — the future belongs to Hampton, Sanders, and Vidal.
For the next four years, these three will own the league. Forget “Running Back by Committee” — this is “Running Back by Holy Wrath.” The defenses won’t know which back is hitting them, only that their souls hurt and their ankles are gone.
Mark it down, because when the history books are written, it’ll say: the dynasty was foretold… by the Taint Tickling Tickler.
Question: If Hampton, Sanders, and Vidal really form this unstoppable three-headed monster, do defenses start game-planning for them… or do they just accept their fate and focus on damage control?
In the famous words of Happy Gilmore “SUCK MY WHITE ASS”
FTR, FTR, FTR, bitches, FTD, wait do you hear that THE KINGDOM HAS FALLEN FTC, BBBBBBOOOBIESSSSSSSSSSS. K luv u bye
