(Baby German accent?) It’s been a quiet week on the Nipple Watch 2024 front. We have remained steady in excitement and laser sharpness as we continue to move closer towards kickoff in September. More news on the nipple front will follow eventually, stay tuned. I’m really curious to see how the hell this receiver room shakes out with th addition of DJ Chark. He wasn’t overly impressive in Carolina but then again, that entire team wasn’t great and Bryce Young had a really tough time, poor kid almost got killed on a weekly basis. How do you guys see this receiver room shaking out? I am predicting a great Quentin Johnston season SHAMELESS POSITIVITY BABY!!!! There’s just no way he doesn’t feel the pressure with all the additions to the room. I’m thinking Palmer and McConkey will be 1 & 2 with Johnston and Chark at 3 & 4, and Brendan Rice at 5. We’ll have to keep Derious Davis for returns but I can’t see more than that being kept on the roster. What says you men? As always SUCK MY BUTT CHIEFS RAIDERS AND BRONCOS!!!!

Hello you beautiful bungholios! How do ya do? I'd like to start off by saying that I am a huge supporter of Coach's beard. I have enjoyed this wonderful journey of growth. Keep it up you sexy son of a gun. Ok, now for some football stuff, if I must. We have officially entered the painful time of the offseason right before the draft & also the schedule release which follows a few weeks after. My nipples are tingling with excitement but also softening with nervousness!!! I must fight to keep them upright and ready for battle! Malik Nabers, Marvin Harisson Jr...oh boy that sure gets me going. Trading back for Terrion Arnold or Quinyon Mitchell...AND acquiring more picks?? Or trade back and take Fuaga or Latham?? AND OF COURSE THOSE DAMN EXTRA PICKS! YES YES YES STILL LASER SHARP! Ok I am sorry, lets calm down here. I have decided that the only thing that will soften thy nipples, will be an O line pick at 5. Other than that, we have so many needs that I just think it will be hard to not make us happy. But of course, we will have our angry beavers no matter what. This is a safe space everyone. What are we doing to keep sane until then? KAAAAYYYYY LUUUUUUVVVVVVV UUUUUU BBAAAAAAAIIIIII

(Jam a thumb up his Butthole voice) Well well well….if it isn’t another wonderful ask boltfam. I am mentally preparing myself for this episode because I’m sure the questions will be filled with the emotional departure of Keenan Allen. I feel like I’ve been rapid fire shot in the sack with a paintball gun that hasn’t run out of ammo in days :( One way or another, we are going to have to get through this. While we may not be able to move on for a while, just like when Rivers left, we will get through this as a fanbase. So lock arms, wash your asses, and let’s hope that we knock this draft out of the park. I guess i must ask a question: what do you guys think if we sign Tyler Boyd in FA, and then trade back a few spots to maybe 9-11, and take Terrion Arnold from Alabama? With vato leaving, we have a gaping hole (ha!) at corner. I think the Herbert can mask our receiver issues better than our corner room can handle themselves if we don’t improve there. We can likely get a 2nd and 3rd as well, so we double down there in both rounds. What says you men!? Kluvubaiiiiiiiii

Alright boys...instant reaction...no time to let emotions pass. HOWEVER...the conversation about Staley's inability to come through in clutch moments (aka game sealing moments) just has to be talked about and unfortunately highlighted. This game could have been put away multiple times in the 4th quarter, both on offense and defense. Not just the last offensive drive, but again Staley's defense couldn't hold in a clutch moment. The overtime drive on offense was just a joke and it showed a lack of coaching...again in a clutch moment. I freakin love you guys and I am usually very shamelessly positive, but FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK...i am losing my faith in Staley to lead this team. Bless your hearts for talking about this team for hours for us even after these anal ripper losses. Peace love and nice boobs. Onto Minnesota we go...

(can you use the "jam a thumb up his butthole that's what you do" voice from one of the intros? Lol, if not I trust you with something funny) Salutations from Redwood City & DHBC Bay Area! MAN OH MAN I AM HYPED. Jaylen fuckin Guyton is back! I am still self soaked (wink wink) thinking about that deep ball TD he had vs the Giants two seasons ago. Anyway, you guys talked about this enough already on last week's episode, so this is more of a "oh yeah daddy!!!!!!" moment. Here's the real question: What is the best game you guys have attended in person??? It can be a win or loss if you'd like. For example, my favorite game ever attended was at Green Bay back in 2015. Our Lord & Savior Felipe Rios had 500+ yards, Keenan Allen was on pace to catch 20+ balls before he got hurt, but the goal line stand by Green Bay happened right in front of me and softened by wiener. Second best game I attended was at Kansas City in 2018 on TNF when we went for the 2 pt conversion to win it in regulation. This time, all of their wieners were softened!! HA!!!!!! I must have gotten one hour of sleep that night and flew back to the Bay to find out upon landing that my boss gave me the day off! Such an uplifting moment as a Chargers fan especially considering he is a Patriots fan. K Luv You baaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii