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Ulysses Pineda
Dec 02, 2024
In Ask Boltfam
Hey everyone remember when the raiders talked their shit all offseason hahahahahahahahaha Fuck them all! 63-21 can suck my butt! Eliminated from the playoffs the first few days of December you fuckin clown bags! We’re coming for you chiefs! Bolt the fuck up! I guess I should ask a question huh….uhhhhhh why are the raiders just awful? What’s the first thing that comes to mind. Let’s celebrate the raiders being miserable. Ok baiiiiiiiiiiiiii
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Ulysses Pineda
Nov 26, 2024
In Ask Boltfam
Well well well, do we suck again? Or are the Ravens that good? Sure, this game was winnable but what’s the point of Ifs ands or buts? The ravens ran the ball down our throats and that really sucked to see. Bateman and Andrews TD catches were low-key ridiculous and impressive. I for one, do not want to see this team in the playoffs, they are that good. Blehhhhh let’s hit the reset button and move on. We are still 7 and fucking 4 in year one of this rebuild or new regime, whatever you wanna call it. That is something to feel good about. It was great to meet you gents. It was a true honor and a very fun time indeed. I apologize as I was intoxicated to some decent levels so I hope that I remained professional and courteous. I also very much enjoyed yelling suck My butt in the army voice with you. Many thanks to Kevin for the charger chat patch! It’s so nice and soft and I can’t wait for you all to be with me permanently muahahahaha Anyway, What was your favorite part of thunder alley on Monday night? Mine was meeting Kassim Osgood and Legedu Naanee and getting my jerseys of them signed. I can’t imagine anyone who has their jerseys and I think they were happy to see the love and support. BOLT THE FUCK UP UP IN THEIR BUTTS FUCK THE RAIDERS OK BAIIIII
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Ulysses Pineda
Sep 09, 2024
In Ask Boltfam
disrespectfully, the raiders can suck my butt after a full day of work and after a 2 hour workout No shower no respect Everyone chant this with me: SUCK MY BUTT RAIDERS!! SUCK MY BUTT RAIDERS!! SUCK MY BUTT RAIDERS!! My goodness I could scream it at the top of a mountain. Here’s to a good talking point, when’s the last time we lined up in an I formation and ran it down someone’s throat? Let’s be real. We had the one score lead, we wanted to run the clock, and we ended up actually scoring. Not a field goal but a fucking touchdown. Just amazing. My weenie is up for the night baby thank you all! Family trust and respect baby AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
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Ulysses Pineda
Jul 29, 2024
In Ask Boltfam
(can you do the sweet little baby voice pls.) well well well, we meet again my favorite bungholios I have spent the majority of this week arousing myself with videos of training camp, interviews, and football activity. It is most definitely pleasing to have all this content again. Once we get into the season and we can get 2 episodes a week, climax will be complete baby! I guess I have a question...is it just me or is this QB market out of control? Tua, Trevor Lawrence and Jordan Love are now making what 50 fuckin million plus a year?! At this point Uncle Rico could make $30 million a year. THIS IS SOME FUCKIN BULLSHIT MAN. It is crazy to think that Mahomes is now vastly underpaid, but he can still suck a rod. Do you think that in this present time, players are more focused on the money and being the next highest paid vs. focusing on making sure that the salary cap can better the team as a whole? I don't like the way this trend is going... Well, I have missed you and I am really hoping I can yell suck my butt with you all in Thunder Alley this season. I'll be at the Chiefs and Ravens home games at Sofi. Anywho, with that I bid you a farewell. & as they say, it may be 5 o'clock somewhere, but I like to say "There's a butt getting sucked somewhere." Good day and a great week ahead Chiefs Raiders and Broncos can fuck all the way off to planet assbutt!
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Ulysses Pineda
Jul 15, 2024
In Ask Boltfam
Well hello again you rectal bungholios!!!! How do you do?! I hope that you all enjoyed our Suck My Butt video from Saturday. We made it with so much love and I really hope that you felt it as well. I want you guys to know that we had to shoot it twice, the so the first time we yelled suck my butt the people near us definitely stared and laughed. So when we did it the second time, it was even funnier. Totally worth it!!!! Here’s a fun question: Let’s say that in order for the chargers to guarantee a Super Bowl victory, one of you three had to spend a full 7 days with Jackson Mahomes. Only you two and no one else to talk to. And on the 3rd and 7th day, Brittany mahomes also joined. Who will take the sacrifice in order for the chargers to be guaranteed a Super Bowl victory!!?!? Lastly, this is directed at davante adams……what a crybaby. YOU BIG POONANI!!!! I’d say if the raiders don’t have a good season again, he’ll request a trade and it’ll be funny as hell cuz man…it would just be another thing the raiders failed at. Maybe he should reach out to charmin ultra and see if they’ll sponsor his soft ass. He seems to fit the bill. SUCK MY BUTT DAVANTE YOU BIG FUCKIN BABY. K luv you baiiii
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Ulysses Pineda
Jun 24, 2024
In Ask Boltfam
ok guys. I have a suck my butt t shirt idea. Check out the attached picture and if you remember the South Park buttface characters i think it’s definitely a great laugh. I think they just need a wardrobe update to chargers colors and we’re set! maybe even that beloved harbaugh polo that was brought up a while back. Anyway, suck my butt afc west! Now to a question: wtf are we supposed to talk about until training camp? If you each were to choose one uniform combo from all of chargers history, which would be your favorite? I’m talking pants socks shoes, hell even their undies. Cuz what the hell are we supposed to do until camp? BTFU you sexy fucks and SUCK MY BUNG BUNG RAIDERS CHIEFS AND BRONCOS
Shirt idea! 

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Ulysses Pineda
May 07, 2024
In Ask Boltfam
(Baby German accent?) It’s been a quiet week on the Nipple Watch 2024 front. We have remained steady in excitement and laser sharpness as we continue to move closer towards kickoff in September. More news on the nipple front will follow eventually, stay tuned. I’m really curious to see how the hell this receiver room shakes out with th addition of DJ Chark. He wasn’t overly impressive in Carolina but then again, that entire team wasn’t great and Bryce Young had a really tough time, poor kid almost got killed on a weekly basis. How do you guys see this receiver room shaking out? I am predicting a great Quentin Johnston season SHAMELESS POSITIVITY BABY!!!! There’s just no way he doesn’t feel the pressure with all the additions to the room. I’m thinking Palmer and McConkey will be 1 & 2 with Johnston and Chark at 3 & 4, and Brendan Rice at 5. We’ll have to keep Derious Davis for returns but I can’t see more than that being kept on the roster. What says you men? As always SUCK MY BUTT CHIEFS RAIDERS AND BRONCOS!!!!
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Ulysses Pineda
Apr 16, 2024
In Ask Boltfam
Hello you beautiful bungholios! How do ya do? I'd like to start off by saying that I am a huge supporter of Coach's beard. I have enjoyed this wonderful journey of growth. Keep it up you sexy son of a gun. Ok, now for some football stuff, if I must. We have officially entered the painful time of the offseason right before the draft & also the schedule release which follows a few weeks after. My nipples are tingling with excitement but also softening with nervousness!!! I must fight to keep them upright and ready for battle! Malik Nabers, Marvin Harisson Jr...oh boy that sure gets me going. Trading back for Terrion Arnold or Quinyon Mitchell...AND acquiring more picks?? Or trade back and take Fuaga or Latham?? AND OF COURSE THOSE DAMN EXTRA PICKS! YES YES YES STILL LASER SHARP! Ok I am sorry, lets calm down here. I have decided that the only thing that will soften thy nipples, will be an O line pick at 5. Other than that, we have so many needs that I just think it will be hard to not make us happy. But of course, we will have our angry beavers no matter what. This is a safe space everyone. What are we doing to keep sane until then? KAAAAYYYYY LUUUUUUVVVVVVV UUUUUU BBAAAAAAAIIIIII
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Ulysses Pineda
Mar 18, 2024
In Ask Boltfam
(Jam a thumb up his Butthole voice) Well well well….if it isn’t another wonderful ask boltfam. I am mentally preparing myself for this episode because I’m sure the questions will be filled with the emotional departure of Keenan Allen. I feel like I’ve been rapid fire shot in the sack with a paintball gun that hasn’t run out of ammo in days :( One way or another, we are going to have to get through this. While we may not be able to move on for a while, just like when Rivers left, we will get through this as a fanbase. So lock arms, wash your asses, and let’s hope that we knock this draft out of the park. I guess i must ask a question: what do you guys think if we sign Tyler Boyd in FA, and then trade back a few spots to maybe 9-11, and take Terrion Arnold from Alabama? With vato leaving, we have a gaping hole (ha!) at corner. I think the Herbert can mask our receiver issues better than our corner room can handle themselves if we don’t improve there. We can likely get a 2nd and 3rd as well, so we double down there in both rounds. What says you men!? Kluvubaiiiiiiiii
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Ulysses Pineda
Sep 17, 2023
In Ask Boltfam
Alright boys...instant reaction...no time to let emotions pass. HOWEVER...the conversation about Staley's inability to come through in clutch moments (aka game sealing moments) just has to be talked about and unfortunately highlighted. This game could have been put away multiple times in the 4th quarter, both on offense and defense. Not just the last offensive drive, but again Staley's defense couldn't hold in a clutch moment. The overtime drive on offense was just a joke and it showed a lack of coaching...again in a clutch moment. I freakin love you guys and I am usually very shamelessly positive, but FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK...i am losing my faith in Staley to lead this team. Bless your hearts for talking about this team for hours for us even after these anal ripper losses. Peace love and nice boobs. Onto Minnesota we go...
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Ulysses Pineda
Apr 18, 2023
In Ask Boltfam
(can you use the "jam a thumb up his butthole that's what you do" voice from one of the intros? Lol, if not I trust you with something funny) Salutations from Redwood City & DHBC Bay Area! MAN OH MAN I AM HYPED. Jaylen fuckin Guyton is back! I am still self soaked (wink wink) thinking about that deep ball TD he had vs the Giants two seasons ago. Anyway, you guys talked about this enough already on last week's episode, so this is more of a "oh yeah daddy!!!!!!" moment. Here's the real question: What is the best game you guys have attended in person??? It can be a win or loss if you'd like. For example, my favorite game ever attended was at Green Bay back in 2015. Our Lord & Savior Felipe Rios had 500+ yards, Keenan Allen was on pace to catch 20+ balls before he got hurt, but the goal line stand by Green Bay happened right in front of me and softened by wiener. Second best game I attended was at Kansas City in 2018 on TNF when we went for the 2 pt conversion to win it in regulation. This time, all of their wieners were softened!! HA!!!!!! I must have gotten one hour of sleep that night and flew back to the Bay to find out upon landing that my boss gave me the day off! Such an uplifting moment as a Chargers fan especially considering he is a Patriots fan. K Luv You baaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
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Ulysses Pineda

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