So, uh, today was like oh my gawd! Like, is anyone else tired of all the arm chair GM's & coaches? Bruh, if you're so damn, like, smart, like, go do the damn thing! Obviously, you're, like, talents r being wasted in wutever day job u currently have! Ok, ok, I'm done! No more twitter on game days for this B*tch! (Valley girl of course) So, wuts up mofos!? It's been a min! Still been listening to you motherf*ckin Goofy Buttholes, just haven't had the time to give Wooldog the material he f*ckin deserves. Speaking of which, remember to lock your motherf*ckin phone people! I keep notes on my phone for ideas about questions. Yesterdays motherf*ckin game caused some alcohol to be consumed, what a f*ckin start huh? Fast F*ckin forward and I may have gotten some shut eye on the couch, leaving my phone open, with the following motherf*ckin notes: "Goofy Buttholes, Sexy Baby voice, over/under on white hairs in the beard/hair - Mom was talking sh*t". I'll save the Mama Lago story for later... Coach, can you show us what the difference in the run game was this last Sunday? Pretty please? How do they sustain that success? & Kevin, Trey is surely no Pumpkin right now! (sexy baby voice) KKKKKK wuv u bye

Have fun with the voice here Woolly: Boys, boys, boys...season is almost here! Can't wait to shotgun a brewski in Thunder Alley with y'all on 8/11, it's going to be a glorious start to the season, FTR. Just got to watch the new 'All In' & damnit I love this team. Wut Telesco & Staley have put together is just, it's fucking exciting! The personalities and talent on this team are great. Changing gears here, as a guy who's invested countless hours and $$ into coaching, albeit hoop, I can honestly say that there's not anyone else I would want coaching this team right now. I'm 100% bought in on Staley. He's genuine as hell, says the right things constantly, the players love him, but he's all about accountability. I could continue on... So boys, if you could swap Staley & staff for anyone else's in the NFL would you do it, if so why? #KLUbye

Welllllllllllll shit! U beautiful goofy butthole sumsabitches, by golly where are my manners? *sumsa-angels. I know u boys missed me, it's beena while...I mean heck wit Kev playin hookie so damn much now, we got Woolie & Coach agreein on shtuff. I mean, what is dis? Da daggum twilight zone all da sudden? -Does a line of booga shooga (aka cocajina)- Pardon me, needed a quick pick me up der...how bout this friggin offseason from Ninja Tommy & Brand-ON Staley, u get it? Cuz my guy is always ON brand? Anywho, it's gonna be fuc...uh.. flippin awesome to see our Bolts "express" demselves all over da NFL dis damn season, u know what I'm sayin? -do some push ups- MMMMMMM, by golly, this is some good stuff. So, fellers, a hypothetical for ya: Staley, Herbert, Boey, Slayer, Ek, Mackattack, DJ, Mr. Int, Dru the Tranq, all the blockbuster boys, Herbert's Secret Service, coach's HS mate, & company get us to the end, the final game of the 2022 NFL season, da mother truckin 57th Superbowl...but this panel must make some gosh darn decisions and dey must be dagnaninmous (Woolie & Kev need to reconnect) for our belovid Bolts to be da winners: 3 players from da current roster (or Coach Staley) will play (coach) their last game for da Bolts dat fateful twelfth day of Feberary 2023. Da first selection leaves da next season & goes on to a Hall of Fame career for the LV Gayders (I know it's Pride month, muh bad, but FTR). So who's da first sacrifice? (Let Coach & Hug start to answer, if they try to cheat & use the 52/53 guy on da roster, u shut it down! - No, no. boys! Dis hypothetical will hurt the soul! It must be a starter from offense or defense.) Selection 2 stays on the roster for another 5 seasons but never plays another meaningful snap (think our poor compadre Bulaga last season, but for 5 seasons!). Selection 3 is forced out of da game but gets into a broadcasting booth. But der b uh catch...dis person gets infected wit, long pause, WoodheadSlausonFoutsitis. Dat's right, dis former Bolt hero spends every NFL Sunday thereon talkin shiet about our squad. Der be sum tuff decisions der boys & remember u must be dagnani, dat don't feel right, unimagna, u know wut I mean... My sincerest of apologies for da torture der boys! It'sda dog days of sports summer & we need some gosh darn entertainment. K luv u bye!