(Voice of Whatever Political Figure That won't divide your Podcast) (Star Spangled Banner Played by Marching Band in background) lol
My fellow Charger Fans,
Election season is approaching us and today I'm announcing my candidacy to make our sidelines shamelessly positive and push to bring back our Charger Cheerleaders. What once was a growing economy of happiness and joy on the sidelines now lay barren to media figures looking to divide our franchise with false performance comparisons to other football alliance members that further demean the constitutes that comprise our incredible 50-man roster. I look at the stands and see a great melting pot of people from many nations, backgrounds, and religions, all trying to thrive and contribute to this great franchise but are divided weekly on the way they celebrate touchdowns, interceptions, and blows delivered to our adversaries who dare to threaten this great stadium. There was a time this franchise stood united when our cheerleaders secured our field borders. Men fixated their eyes on the same vision during halftime and time-outs, while women united in independence to look upon the dexterity and physique of their favorite players while their partners were preoccupied. Our children were welcomed with smiles and hugs by these Cheerleaders and were supported during some of their happiest and darkest times. We all saw that fateful day in December of 2016 a man who took an oath to protect and serve, pleasure himself to these women on the sideline and stole their security and hope in stadium officials. We will not allow this to happen to such bright lights in our communities. I will do everything in my power to fund more screenings to ensure security members can still maintain reasonable security practices when triggered by certain stimuli to protect and serve these women, so they can safely do the work for which they have been called. If you all choose to unite behind me, I will go straight to the Charger's social media page door and knock day and night for Spanos to find it in the deepest parts of his wallet to bring back our cheerleaders. We will fill our sidelines again with positivity and bring unity to the cheering sections of all fans everywhere in this great city. What's say you Chargers Chat Podcast? Do I have your support? If Spanos is pressed for money, I'll ask him to settle for those lovely-looking Meg dolls with increased flexibility who performed during halftime at the Rams-Chargers game.
God Bless America and God Bless The Los Angeles Chargers!